I did not mean to do this at all, but I just looked back through my blog archives for the last time I posted book recommendations, and what do you know, it was February 3, 2021. February must just be the time for it, right after those beginning-of-year resolutions to read more. 🙂

So yes, this is another book review blog post.

I feel bad about this first one, I really do, but I also feel silly to only review one book, so . . . forgive me. And maybe just skip the first review if you have an inside scoop on the actual real-life story and the people involved.

Kidnapped in Haiti by Katrina Hoover Lee.

As I’m sure you all know, this book tells the story of what really happened in those last few months of 2021, when seventeen Mennonite missionaries were kidnapped in Haiti and held hostage for months. I think as we all prayed we all probably had our own ideas of what was happening, and now through this book we can actually know.

I was probably the most interested in hearing how Ryan and Melodi handled it all with their two little children. They had a three-year-old boy. I have one of those. And even more terrifying, hard, and amazing . . . they had an eight-and-then-nine-month-old baby. I have one of those, too. And I can’t imagine trying to care for my children in the circumstances they were in. It was really interesting to read their bits of the story, to remember prayers that I had specifically prayed and to see how God had answered those prayers, especially regarding the children.

And on a close second to that little family’s perspective was what I thought would eventually be framed as a love story between Austin and Cherilyn, who are now married. I probably should’ve known better, but I thought they’d at least get an honorable mention, even just a tidbit at the end saying they got married. But no, there was nothing of the sort, and that was disappointing to me for some reason. It felt like every other little detail was attended to, and that being left out seemed like a glaring omission. Maybe it was at their request, who knows. Anyway . . . it’s silly of me to even care, but a love story coming out of a two-month captivity? That feels like a smile from God too sweet to be overlooked.

And that brings me to how I actually felt about the book . . .

I hesitate to say anything too negative, partly because of who wrote it (I seem to remember enjoying other of Katrina’s books) and partly because of the situation it portrays. That said, I did not really enjoy reading this book. Oh, I read it fast enough—it’s probably the fastest I’ve read a book all the way through since having children. It was interesting, for sure. It just didn't feel very well-written or engaging.

I think this book did a good job of laying the framework, of getting the story of what happened out there. We were all interested to know, those of us who were following the story and praying for the captives.

So it seems a bit of a shame that the first book to come out about it feels like it was squashed through the ringers of a rigid publishing mill and came out a little dull and wooden on the other side. But it does cover a lot of ground, and huge kudos to the author for the hours of interviews and I’m sure painstaking piecing together of myriads of parts of the story. I think the sheer scope of the storytelling is actually a big part of the book’s downfall. There is no stone left unturned, no angle unexamined, and what you’re left with is a huge span of characters, none of which can have their story done justice to. I felt invested in the hostages because they were people in real life in a situation that still felt fresh, because I knew the face of one and the faces of his family, because I had prayed for them all in real life for weeks, because I had imagined myself in their shoes and wondered if I could be so brave.

But I didn’t feel invested in them because of the book.

I hope someone takes this story and tells it in a more intimate (and dare I say sensational?) way. Now that we have the brick-and-mortar, the groundwork, let’s put the emotion into it. The humor and the personal touches and quirks that the book tried to include but that felt more flat and strange and out-of-place than endearing. The awe of God’s power and His working on so many different levels.

Because it truly is an incredible story. And I think it deserves a better showcase, both for those involved and for the God whose glory is revealed again and again through it.

(I actually felt badly enough about not enjoying it that I went and read reviews to see if anyone else was feeling the same way. Apparently not. So give it a try if you get your hands on it. I’m pretty sure my quibbles with it put me in the minority here. And I was very interested to read the story, regardless of the book itself.)

If you got this far and didn’t quit reading in disgust, I didn’t actually come here just to trash on a book that I genuinely wanted to like. I just felt silly to only review one book when, wonder of wonders, I actually read two. I don’t ever read anymore (other than my Bible), so to finish two books in a month’s time felt worth noting.

And the second book I read comes with every recommendation from me. I actually wish it could somehow be required reading for every parent, caregiver, and teacher on the planet. It’s that good, and it’s that needed. I wish I would’ve read it long ago, before I even had my own children, back when it was Juli and Trey and Trent and Jason who were *not* benefiting from my ignorance and immaturity. 🙁 (I would do it again and do it better if I could, guys.) And I wish even more that I would’ve had this knowledge when my first little boy was just starting to find his independence and his curiosity and his mobility and his naughtiness.

I should tell you what the title of the book is though. 🙂

The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson.

I’m going to cheat and just put a segment of the back cover (not quite verbatim) here instead of trying to explain it.

“In this pioneering, practical book, neuropsychiatrist Daniel J. Siegel and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson offer a revolutionary approach to child rearing with twelve key strategies that foster healthy brain development, leading to calmer, happier children. The authors explain—and make accessible—the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures. The “upstairs brain,” which makes decisions and balances emotions, is under construction until the mid-twenties. And especially in young children, the right brain and its emotions tend to rule over the logic of the left brain. No wonder kids throw tantrums, fight, or sulk in silence. By applying these discoveries to everyday parenting, you can turn any outburst, argument, or fear into a chance to integrate your child’s brain and foster vital growth. Complete with age-appropriate strategies for dealing with day-to-day struggles and illustrations that will help you explain these concepts to your child, The Whole-Brain Child shows you how to cultivate healthy emotional and intellectual development so that your children can lead balanced, meaningful, and connected lives.”

The science in this book is so amazing, and so eye-opening, and they are not kidding when they say they make it accessible. I’ve read plenty of parenting books, and they’ve all lit a fire in me in some way or another, but this one feels special. Do you know how much easier it is to deal with a child when you are keeping in mind the fact that their brain is under-developed and that it is your job to help them integrate their brain to a place where they can control their emotions and make rational decisions? We aren’t born being able to do that. And just knowing that the child isn’t necessarily trying to be difficult but that it’s their tiny brain at work doing its wild and unpredictable thing . . . for me at least, it makes it so much easier to keep my calm, to take the time to think through an approach that would actually help their brain learn and adapt and wire itself well, to be patient and loving, and to *maybe even* enjoy the teaching process.

One thing I really appreciate about this book though is that it doesn’t just give children a free pass. It makes the point several places that we can’t just allow children to run wild, whether they have under-developed brains or not. There have to be boundaries, and there has to be discipline, and there have to be consequences. But understanding the state of their brain can make those boundaries and those consequences and that discipline be so much more effective, not to mention so much more age-appropriate.

A spanking isn’t the be-all, end-all that a lot of us were brought up to believe it was. I’ll just leave that at that.

I have been so encouraged reading this book. I feel better-equipped for dealing with all my little boys, whom I call my wild little Indians for very, very good reason. It’s just a short little book, but it’s jam-packed with stories and ideas and science and practical advice.

Go get yourself a copy. It’s well worth the pennies to have it on your bookshelf and in your mind as you parent your children day after day.

And go read Kidnapped in Haiti as well. It’s worth your time, stilted storytelling and all. 🙂

 

(If you've read either of these books, I'd love to know your thoughts on them!)