The Good Old Days

I've had the bulk of this post just sitting here because I wasn't sure how to preface it. I wrote about three different intros, and they all had to do with being eleven, and it was slightly disjointed and a little strange, and I just wasn't happy with it.

And then I remembered . . . nine years ago today . . . a Starbucks that no longer exists, a rainy night, a doodled-on coffee cup, a handsome boy, and a "yes" finally leaving my lips after literally months and months of praying.

Eric and I met at a Starbucks so I could give him the answer to the question he'd asked two days earlier.

The answer was absolutely yes, and we've been together ever since. 🙂

Those were wonderful days. Dating was wonderful. Being engaged was pretty good, too. Being newly married was amazing.

And then came the children, and more tastes of real life, but guess what . . . I didn't ever want to go back to those dating days or even those newly married days.

This life right here is my favorite yet.

And that's where the feeling an affinity to being eleven came in.

When I was eleven, I wasn't yet interested in the future . . . in driving or graduating or working or boys or marriage or children. I wasn't looking forward to anything major. I also wasn't old enough to be very interested in the past . . . to look back at anything with nostalgia. I was just living in the moment, happy with what I had right then and there.

I kind of feel like I’m there again. I'm not waiting for anything major. Not to graduate; I’ve done that. Not to date; I’ve done that. Not to get married; I’ve very, very happily done that. Not to have children; I’ve done that. There's really nothing major that I'm waiting for (except maybe having a daughter, but that doesn't count because I do have my boys).

And any looking back that I do, while done with fondness, is with the understanding that nothing I ever had before can top everything I have now.

I guess that’s why they call it the good old days.

Not looking forward, not looking back. There’s not some time in the past that I wish I could return to. I'm not chomping at the bit to get to some time in the future. Right here, right now, is just fine with me.

These are the days I'll miss.

These are the good old days.

What an incredible privilege to get to live them in peace and quietness.

I wish I could freeze my boys. They’re what make these the good old days. Their smallness, their neediness, their impulsiveness, their naughtiness, their sweetness . . . it all combines to make these some of the hardest days of my life, but some of the most beautiful as well.

I can’t freeze my boys, but I can capture them right here, as they are right now.

Alec is six, and he’s in school. He loves school. He is engaged and enthralled all day. His teacher had glowing words for him and said he’s always up for whatever’s happening, that he enthuses the reluctant students with his exuberance. Eric had the privilege of tagging along with Alec for the morning last week, and when we went around the table at suppertime saying our favorite part of the day, that was both Alec’s and Eric’s favorite part.

I don’t like buckling and unbuckling my other boys and waiting out in the weather for school pickup, but I do love seeing Alec appear in that doorway, with his little backpack and his enormous smile. Some of the other children come out the door with a smile; some of them call out to their mom or dad. But my boy is the only one who consistently comes out beaming, seeking out his mom and brothers, beginning to talk excitedly before he even reaches us. Sometimes he comes out and yells, “Mother!” and I can’t help but wonder what the other parents think. Kids these days don’t usually call their moms “mother,” and I don’t think mine would either except that Ramona Quimby called her mom that. 🙂

When Alec is home, he’s almost always listening to “his story,” which has been a Boxcar Children audiobook for months on end now. He used to listen to Ramona Quimby or Henry Huggins, but not anymore. Understandable, since he listened to the entire Ramona collection probably at least ten times, if not many more.

While he listens to his story, he does crafts. Boxes, printer paper, construction paper, bits of ribbon and string, tape, colored pencils, paints, markers, scissors . . . he uses it all. The green room is almost always a disaster zone from all his projects, even though I’ve given him a garbage can and countless reminders to actually use it.

I just have to include a sampling of the myriad of projects Alec has done in the last month or so.

Alec has a built-in best friend in Sebastian, although they don't spend nearly as much time together as they used to since Alec is in school. When they play nicely together and don't fight, they have a great time.

Alec loves rocks and flowers. He hates chocolate. He loves fire. And water. If he could play with the hose every day of the year, he undoubtedly would. We have a fire pit on our front porch, and Alec will often ask if he can have “just a little fire.” So I’ll burn a box or some papers or cardboard or something, and he’ll go out and fiddle with the fire until it’s gone. It’s an easy way for me to get rid of some of his precious papers and projects that he doesn’t want to throw away otherwise. Just give him a fire, and he will happily throw away every paper project in sight just to keep it burning longer. 🙂

Sebastian is four. He loves fire and water as well, but he still loves machines most of all. The big, real machines that appear down on our lot and that he can actually ride in or the little, metal ones that litter our house and yard that he can actually dig with . . . he loves them all.

An excavator is Sebastian's favorite toy of choice. His Grandma Roth gave him one that looked identical to one he already had, and I told her the more excavators we had the better anyway because it's an easy toy to break, but in Sebastian's mind the two excavators weren't the same at all! There were a couple miniscule differences that he pointed out to me, and he deemed the one from Grandma far superior to the one he'd already had. 🙂

Sebastian plays outside every day, no matter the weather. His most recent favorite outdoor thing is the trailer his dad made to attach to his Strider bike. Sebastian does have a real bike, but he loves to zoom around on the old Strider instead, and now that he has a trailer to pull it’s even better. The morning after Eric made it for him, Sebastian was outside by 6:30am, in the dark and rain, riding around pulling his trailer behind him.

He is usually a very good big brother to Emmett, and they play together nicely a lot of the time. Sebastian looks out for him and helps him when an excavator's track has fallen off, or a bucket is lost, etc. They do fight of course, but overall they have a really cute relationship. 🙂

Sebastian has finally figured out how to put puzzles together, and there is a Thomas one sitting on my counter right now so he can pull it down whenever he wants and put it together. I plan to start doing some sort of preschool with him once Christmas is over, but for now he is just happy to play and play and play, all day long.

Occasionally he does get bored, and then he does “hard work” with Mom, like unloading the dryer, loading the washer, unloading the dishwasher, setting the table, picking up toys, or folding washcloths. He loves to be either parents’ right-hand man, and if his dad is outside, Sebastian is, too.

Sebastian loves music and memorizes words at an alarming rate. I played a song that we hadn’t listened to in awhile, and what do you know, pretty soon I heard Sebastian singing the chorus, and he knew all the words. He sings along to almost everything, and he has his favorite songs all picked out on Spotify. When we go anywhere in the car, he asks for his favorites with specifications like “the one at the starting end” and “the new one that I just thought up.” Luckily his mom knows just what he’s talking about. 🙂

And then there’s Emmett. My sweet little Emmett.

We enjoy him so, so much. Sebastian often says, “It’s so fun to have a baby.” And we all agree.

Emmett is one, and he's finally talking more. He says, “No,” and if you don’t listen, he says, “No, hey!” He says “tree” and “train,” “hot” and “please.” He says, “Woah, woah!” “Achoo!” “Mmm!” and “Uh oh.” Sometimes he says “Two, three, go!” and then off he runs, pushing his little cart thing that he learned to walk with. He loves tromping around the house in Alec’s school shoes. He says “choo choo” when he drives a train and makes all the appropriate digging noises when he drives a machine. He loves playing with machines just like Sebastian does. Eric and I could honestly just watch him all day. The other day Eric said, "I feel like I should be looking harder at him or something." And then we both said at the same time, "He is just so sweet."

I call him Bug, and he has claimed my little old bear Slumbers for his own. When it’s time for a nap, he’ll go looking for his bear, and if he looks in a spot and it’s not there, he’ll say a quick little “No!” and continue looking. It’s the sweetest thing, especially when he crouches down to look in a corner or lies flat on his belly to look under the couch.

When he wants a snack, he goes to the container drawer and brings me a container. Then I pull out various snack options, and he shakes his head for every one until I get to the one he wants, to which he says, “Oh!” quite happily or nods his head very intentionally and with great effort. It's hard to differentiate between a nod and a shake when you're one. 🙂

Emmett loves to follow Sebastian around and do whatever he’s doing, whether that’s eating a snack, playing with machines, playing with trains, or just going from one room to another. Sometimes Emmett will bring Sebastian an excavator to try to get him to play with him. 🙂 Emmett also loves playing with trains and will bring me cars to hook up or an engine to turn on.

Alec, Sebastian, and Emmett. Three little boys, full to the brim with big imaginations and bad ideas and funny things to say. They’re growing up so fast. The other night we had a moment of real conversation with our big boys at the supper table, and it was just surreal and exciting.