This is my Uncle Wes.
He’s been a fixture in my life for as long as I can remember. Until a couple days ago, that is. Uncle Wes died this week, and I'd like to remember and honor him with a blog post. (I'd love if you would share your memories of him as well in the comments!)
When I think of Uncle Wes, I think of all sorts of random things.
Cordial cherries.
Twin babies.
Laura Love.
Dating couples.
Weddings.
(Not) funerals.
Skip-Bo.
Shari’s.
“Lead Us, O Father, In the Paths of Peace.”
Drew. (I think Drew was his favorite.)
Uncle Wes gave us cordial cherries (often two boxes per person) for Christmas every year for years on end. I remember getting so tired of cordial cherries, even me with my sweet tooth. I remember squishing out the cherries in the middle and mashing up the chocolate and cream with flour or something to make a new concoction, one no better than the first.
Now I kind of want to go buy a box and remember an uncle I never knew life without.
Uncle Wes always wanted one of us girls to have twin daughters. I don’t know if my cousin Robert’s twin boy and girl pacified him or not, but he was always happy to hear another baby was on the way.
Here he is with a bunch of us cousins before babies were even a thought in the equation. 🙂
He loved the name Laura from the Little House books and thought someone should name a little girl Laura Love. He actually got to go to Laura Ingalls' house in Missouri when we were there for my brother's wedding. 🙂
He had an ear turned to all the latest news when it came to dating couples, probably because one of his favorite things to do was go to a wedding. He loved weddings. He even went to a few that he wasn’t invited to. I don’t think anyone was ever surprised to see him.
Funerals, not so much. I remember back in the day he’d just flat out refuse to go to a funeral, but I think in later years he did go to some.
He loved a good potluck, and you'd find him at any number of special meetings in different churches throughout the valley. He always knew who was preaching where and if there would be food after. Everyone knew who Uncle Wes was. 🙂
He loved playing Skip-Bo, and I remember sitting at our dining room table with him and Dora and Drew and sometimes our parents, playing games.
He was always welcome at my parents’ house, ever since I can remember. He’d come and stay for two, three, four days, sometimes even for a week. He kept all sorts of brown paper bags in the trunk of his car, and when he would come to spend the night, he carried all his stuff in a few brown paper bags, and he’d often come out with this or that gadget that he’d gotten that had a cool light on it. He loved lights. He would talk about the Blue Light Special or pretend the cops were coming. 
Sometimes he’d pull out a bunch of old candy he’d gotten at the last parade or fair he’d been to. He always chewed Big Red gum.
He kept his phone in the trunk of his car, too, so he was almost always impossible to get a hold of. If you called Uncle Wes and he answered, it was nothing short of a miracle for a little while there.
He loved to go sit at Shari’s and drink coffee and read the paper. He’d always disappear in the mornings when he stayed with us, off to get his cup of joe.
He loved my mom’s crazy cake, and he hated onions. He would talk about coming over and how my mom was going to make him eat onions. 🙂
And Christmas . . . what will Christmas be without his haphazardly wrapped gifts, all in a pile, with their homemade wrapping paper cards attached to the front and a candy cane taped on top? 
We know what it will be, because we’ve already experienced it, even though he was still with us, but it still makes me a bit sad. Even though we knew every year what he would get us (cordial cherries for a very long time at least), it was still kind of fun to tear into first the package and then the box and enjoy that first cherry. (We won’t talk about the sixteenth one.) Uncle Wes used to even buy gifts for the out-of-state cousins, and Aunt Celestia would pack them up in a box and send them off after Christmas was over, but they were always in that pile with all the others, as if maybe my cousins would come popping in the door unannounced to receive their cordial cherries or (in later years) their bottles of shampoo and conditioner.
He loved his family, both Nelson and Roth and everyone in between. He'd be at all the family gatherings, sometimes even the ones with my dad's side of the family. 🙂 I didn't find complete or recent family pictures with either side of the family, but here's a couple with those who knew and loved him best.
And here he is with his sisters and their mom's sister, my great-aunt Ruth.
When I started looking, I found Uncle Wes in so many cracks and corners of our growing up years, and the pictures quickly got overwhelming to sort through, but here's a few more.
Uncle Wes was a lot of fun. He loved to tease, and some of his nieces and nephews gave the teasing right back. It's safe to say he was a favorite uncle. He was there when we were all babies, and he was there when we started having our own babies. (I wish so much I had easy access to all my mom's old pictures so I could find some from longer ago, but I don't at the moment.) Here he is with my little Sebastian.
He held all three of my boys, even baby Emmett right there at the end. It's sad to me that my boys won't grow up remembering him.
I’ll miss Uncle Wes. It’s been a long time of watching him decline, of seeing him less and less, of hardly recognizing him as the same fun uncle the times we did see him . . . but I’ll miss him.
I didn’t think I would cry when he died, but I did. We knew it was coming. We even knew it was coming soon, but there’s still nothing quite like looking at the family chat and seeing it there, so final.
We went to see him a week before he died. My parents and Dora went, too, and while it was good to see him, it was also sad. I knew it would be the last time.
He knew who we were, and he wanted to know the boys’ names and how old they were, and my sweet Sebastian gave him a big hug, and even Alec agreed to be on that one last picture we took with him. Emmett laughed great big baby laughs as I swung him toward Uncle Wes again and again, and I like to think we created some joy in his heart by being there, but my mom said a few days later he didn’t remember that we’d even come.
It doesn’t matter now.
There weren’t very many of us, but we sang him a few songs. Of course we sang “Lead Us, O Father,” but we couldn’t remember the words past the first verse. And when he asked us to sing it again a bit later, someone said we already did, but I said we could sing it again. It was probably the last time he’d hear it after all.
I wish our whole family could’ve been there. I wish we would’ve had the song book so we could remember all the words. I wish we could’ve filled that dismal little room with harmony and beauty, with his favorite song, one last time for him.
I hope the angels sing “Lead Us, O Father” for him in heaven. They could, you know.
I hope they did. And I hope he hears my grandpa’s beautiful tenor voice standing out above the rest and is welcomed home by a faithful friend and a familiar face.
Goodbye, Uncle Wes. Until we meet again . . .
And thank You, Jesus, for the hope of a life hereafter.
mindy Krabill
I don’t remember him much except that I saw him at every wedding😀 definitely something I’d enjoy doing, I love weddings!
Chayli
Post author🙂 He really was at just about all of them, wasn't he?
Rina
I began to think of him as "Uncle" Wes after we all went to Russell & Shari's wedding. Ever since, he was always "Uncle" Wes in my mind, even though he wasn't my actual blood relative. I remember him being a part of some Roth family gatherings and Mom remembers that he loved her horchata. 🙂 We invited him to our wedding, and I think he gave us a gift in a brown paper bag. 🙂 If memory serves, I still use a few of the things in my kitchen, all these years later.
Chayli
Post authorI love that you called him Uncle Wes, too. I had thought of including that at some point but must've forgotten it. That's really special! And now that you mention the horchata, I remember that too. 🙂 That's so funny he gave you a gift in a brown paper bag!
Dad
Beautiful post 😥
Chayli
Post authorThanks for all the times you and Mom welcomed him in, Dad . . . us children have many more good memories of him than we might've otherwise because of that!
Judy Roth
Agreed.
Judy Roth
....that it was a beautiful post.
Chayli
Post authorThanks, Judy!
Elizabeth Swartzendruber
We remember how he loved to tease and Mart loved to tease him. I also remember Ed and Lisa invited him to their wedding which he was so excited about going. You did a great job describing your Uncle Wes. It is too bad your children won't have the memories you do.
Chayli
Post authorI can imagine that. 🙂 Thank you, it was good and sad all at once to remember.
His First BIL
About funerals... He would have been to his parents', of course. Then, as far as I know, he eschewed funerals, no matter who. Until it was my Dad's funeral. Then Uncle Wes came. I was so blessed.
Chayli
Post authorI hadn't remembered that Grandpa's was the first one he came to . . . that is really special.
Linda Pittman
What an awesome tribute to Wesley! I am so sorry to hear of his passing. I loved seeing the picture of my Mom with Celestial, Ruby and Wesley.
Chayli
Post authorThank you, Linda!
Judy Roth
Agreed.
Karen
What a beautiful post!! ❤️ And it made me cry!! Yes, Wesley loved my horchata!! 😊 I hope he gets to drink it in heaven!! ☺️ Until we meet again, Wesley!
Chayli
Post authorThanks, Tia! Maybe Grandpa will bring him his first glass of horchata. 🙂
Luana Nisly
God bless Wes....I well remember him and loved when we got to stop at their house. My mom ( Martha Stutzman) told me stories she remembered of his parents growing up years. It made an impression on me to always be kind to those who struggle in life for what ever reason....He was a special person!! Just wish I could have known him better... You were blessed to have him in your lives. My sympathies to the family....
Luana Nisly
Chayli
Post authorThanks, Luana!
Mom
Chayli, you did such a good job on your blog! THANX!!! It wasn't easy to live with my brother all the time, but I learned to accept and love him and he leaves a big hole in my life now with his passing. Tears come easily as I remember things we experienced and good times spent. He was the special brother that God put into my life for a special purpose and I hope I learned at least a few of the many lessons God had for me in life with Uncle Wes.
Chayli
Post authorThanks, Mom! You were a really good sister to Uncle Wes, and you modeled to us how to be kind. I'm sorry he's gone. Love you!
Susan Smucker
Chayli, You describe Wes to the tee. By the way often those Christmas packages were wrapped on my living room floor. We won't talk about the times I would get so upset with him. i do feel bad that I hadn't gone to visit him since he was in Springfield. I had just thought of him a few days ago telling myself I need to go see him.
Chayli
Post authorYou know, we speak of the good when someone is gone, and it's okay to not dwell on the bad. You played such a big part in his life, thank you! I didn't realize all those packages were wrapped on your living room floor. 🙂
Jane Boss
Good job on your, Wesley memory writing. He always look alittle mischievous like he's been up to something. I enjoyed reading more about him.
Chayli
Post authorThanks, Jane! I'm glad you enjoyed reading it. You're right about the being up to something part. 🙂
Steve Schrock
Good memories of Wes, mostly at church meetings and potlucks and yes of course weddings . Sad to hear of his passing.
Chayli
Post authorThanks, Steve!
Chris Wagler
We had heard that Wesly was in poor health but we didn’t realize how bad. Your post in his honor is wonderful. Some of those pictures look very familiar, Wagler gathers were always fun times to catch up. I will always remember his laughter, and great stories, especially his car driving days. He seemed to always land on his feet, can’t say the same for his car 😊 Was fun listening to him joke around with the guys. He also had a big heart when it came to the littles, his family and the elderly. He was a special brother uncle and cousin indeed. Je will be missed but not forgotten and will meet him again. He’s probably having coffee with pop and telling stories Hugs and love to you all ❤️
Chayli
Post authorI loved reading this comment. Thank you, Chris! Your memories of him are so sweet.
Don Wagler
Tribute to my cousin is wonderful. thank you so much🙏
Chayli
Post authorThank you, Don, and you're welcome.
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Bonita Ceneus
I was surprised to see that he had passed. You wrote such a nice tribute it brought tears to my eyes. I remember Wesley well 🙂 he was very interested in my work in Haiti. He always remembered me and would often come to me after I shared at church or wherever he found me and he would want to talk about Haiti. Years ago he asked me to bring him money from haiti, he said he collected money from other countries. He was so thrilled when I gave him several different pieces of money and mentioned it several times after. He was a special man, very interested in people and always had a good joke to make you smile 😊
Thinking of you and your family and you adjust to a new normal of missing him. 🙏🏼😌
Chayli
Post authorThanks so much for this comment, Boni! It made me smile to read it.