A Post About Nothing . . . And Everything

Once upon a time, I liked to write. So I started a blog. And I wrote for a while. Then I had babies. And I quit writing.

"I wish I still blogged," I told Eric a few nights ago. "I'd love to read it in five years. Or fifty."

So here’s a post about nothing really . . . nothing but the little boys who aren’t quite my everything, but just about. 🙂

Alec Daniel. Sebastian James.

Alec was going to be Charles, in the beginning. Thank goodness we went to Australia. It was on some back road there, bouncing along in our crazy little ute, that I suddenly remembered I’d always liked the name Alec from the Black Stallion books. He became Alec then and there. Daniel is his daddy’s middle name, and I just love how similar their names are. Eric Daniel and Alec Daniel. Eric and Alec. Not long ago as we walked in the door, Alec headed for something he wasn’t supposed to play with, and I, with my hands full of diaper bag and baby, said, “Alec, Alec,” and then, “Eric,” as Alec didn’t listen and I couldn’t do anything about it. Similar names certainly make for an easy switch when giving out orders. (That’s a joke, of course.)

Sebastian has always been Sebastian. We were sitting at Eric’s parents’ dinner table at some point before I was pregnant with Sebastian, and someone mentioned the name Sebastian. Eric and I looked at each other, shrugged, and quietly agreed that we liked that name. When the ultrasound showed a boy with my next pregnancy, we already had the name picked out. I’d wanted a girl right up until the morning of the ultrasound, but that morning I thought about how badly I wanted to name a baby Sebastian, and I was thrilled when “it” turned into “he.” James was another easy pick for a middle name . . . after my grandpa, my dad, and my brother.

Alec and Sebastian. Two of the cutest, funniest little boys around, in my opinion. I just love watching them grow up together. It’s very much not all sunshine and roses, and I turn into the mother I was never going to be and raise my voice far too often, but after the temper tantrums (Alec’s) and the wails (Sebastian’s) and the apologies (mine), we have more good days together than bad. 🙂

It's hard to believe we’ll be calling them “the good old days” before we know it.In some ways I can't wait for the next stages life will bring, for the boys to be more independent, to dress themselves, to sleep all night, to go outside and play for hours at a time, all by themselves. But then I look at the fat little feet swinging under the highchair tray, and I can't imagine them not being there. I laugh for the twentieth time at something Alec says, and I can't imagine not having a two-year-old.

I love this stage. There is so much busyness and frustration, but there's also so much joy and laughter. When he is well-rested and happy, Alec laughs all day long. I made a birthday video for Sebastian of his past year, and there in the background more often than not was Alec giggling away. He makes me laugh all day, too. His vocabulary has exploded recently, and it's so much fun to hear what he comes up with. One day he looked up at the tree in our front yard and said, "It looks like a broccoli." Remarkably enough, it actually did. Another day he looked at the rug by the front door and said, "The rug is getting gross. Wash it, Mom." He's started asking, "So what you do today, Mom?" just like his daddy does, and it's the sweetest thing. Or he'll ask, "How you feel, Mom? Are you upset?" He's our little echo, we are finding out more and more. This morning it was, "Man, you loud," when Sebastian was making noise. Other times it's during supper: "Is it so helfy (healthy), Mom?" A few nights ago, he fed his aunt Renae's dog some bread and very sweetly asked, "Is it so nummy, dog?"He learned that he was once a baby like Sebastian, and now he thinks that if he was a baby once, surely he must've been other things in a past life as well. Today it was a rubber duck. "Do you remember when I was a rubber ducky? I was walking in the water and swimming." He even uses abstract words like "actually" and "maybe" properly, which is probably more amazing to me as his mother than it is to anyone else. 🙂

Sebastian talks, too! He is almost thirteen months old and already says almost that many words. His latest word appeared just this morning. I told the boys it was time for Bible time, and Sebastian said, "Bible." Alec and I of course cheered and got him to do it again and again. 🙂 He also makes amazing car noises (driving cars on the floor is one of his favorite things) and says "zoom." I think the cutest thing to hear him say though is "No, no, no!" He says it with great expression, just like everyone else in this house. Oh dear.Sebastian crawls everywhere and is finally fairly proficient at standing by things. It seems we have early talkers and late walkers, and we don't mind a bit! 🙂Sebastian's favorite person at the moment is his daddy, and with tricks like these, who can blame him?I still can't believe sometimes that these darling boys are mine. They try my patience and my sanity and my wisdom and my gentleness, but at the end of the day I am so, so glad they're mine.

And I'm so glad for their daddy. He is strong and gentle and kind. He provides so well for us and takes such good care of us. He is fun and funny. I tell him that the boys are so charming because they're his. 🙂 I can't believe he's mine either.Parenting is hard, like so many things in life. It takes so much out of you, and yet, it gives so much back as well. Before Eric and I got married, my dad gave me a brick with a reference written on it. Proverbs 14:1. I think of that verse often as I am a wife and mother. "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Selfishness and irritation and short-temperedness pluck down the house; selflessness and kindness and patience build it up. Unfortunately, the "plucking down" temperament is far easier to come by than the "building up" one. My boys know that too well. 🙁