I enjoyed my children today.

I did not enjoy them yesterday.

(Such declarations paint our days in too broad of strokes, but you get the idea.)

I thought about posting this picture with the caption, “Three is so cute, but so hard. Three is so hard, but so cute.” And possibly going into detail about how both phrases capture differently the same sentiment. Cute but hard leaves you with a negative connotation. Hard but cute leaves you with a positive one.

Anyway.

I didn’t, and I’m glad I didn’t because it’s the perfect cover photo for a blog post about how I did not enjoy my children one day and how I did enjoy them the next.

Some days my brain just wakes up on the wrong side of the bed as it were. Yesterday was one of those days. I woke up feeling a bit gloomy, and maybe that translated into a bad day for all of us or maybe I can just chalk that up to wild little Indians being wild little Indians, but whatever the case, it was a bad day. Or a bad morning anyway.

I didn’t enjoy my children.

It’s hard to enjoy someone who is standing half naked in the bathtub throwing water into a little pooped-in potty. It’s hard to enjoy someone else who is sitting on the big toilet laughing his head off at the naked little someone in the bathtub.

I about lost my mind.

See, the boys always poop together (pardon the TMI). And while I was off blissfully feeding the baby and trusting them to be good in the bathroom like they’d been a hundred times before, they were instead very much not being good. Sebastian had done his business on the little potty, like usual, then climbed into the bathtub (minus pullup, pants, and socks of course), turned on the water, grabbed a bath-time cup, and was flinging water into the little potty. By the time I arrived it was all the way full, and there was of course water -- some of it poop water -- splashed all over the floor. Meanwhile, Alec was sitting on the big toilet, as usual, giggling at his brother, as usual, while his brother was being naughty, as usual.

I don’t know if “I about lost my mind” portrays it accurately.

Poor Emmett howled in another room while I took care of everything and everyone, and then the boys had to sit in their chairs until lunchtime while I finished feeding the baby. Why these things always have to happen when Mom is otherwise occupied, I’ll never know.

The naughtiness wasn’t over though.

Alec and Sebastian used to go to bed at naptime and go right to sleep. Not so any longer. Yesterday was especially bad. They invented a game involving throwing their stuffed animals back and forth between the bunks, and that of course ensued in a lot of giggles. Which would have been fine if it hadn’t been naptime. But it was naptime, and their mother was still frazzled from the poop incident.

I tried various things to get them to calm down and go to sleep, losing a little more of my sanity with each thing that didn’t work. I finally just took away the stuffed animals, and that’s what did it. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that sooner.

But they did sleep eventually, and Eric even came home early, and the rest of the day should’ve been one in which I was able to enjoy my children.

But I made the mistake of taking advantage of the first long nap Emmett had taken in days to get a bunch of stuff done. See, Emmett is on the same catnap kick that Alec was on when he was this age. Five-minute, ten-minute, the occasional rare thirty-minute nap . . . that’s how it’s been for weeks. So you can’t blame me for taking advantage of an unbelievably long nap. I scurried and hurried and was already thinking of what I could accomplish next while I was still doing the task in front of me, but the more I got done, the more I realized how much more there was to get done, and no amount of two-and-a-half-hour naps would be long enough to get it all done, and besides, another nap that long wasn’t even a likelihood for a long, long time.

And that was depressing to me. Even though I got a lot done. And even though Emmett napped and napped. And even though the boys were either outside or watching videos or otherwise well-occupied.

Even though I knew the days would come again that I could get all my work done easily, it was depressing that those days weren’t here right now. And so instead of enjoying the season and the reason why I couldn’t do everything like I used to, I let it get to me.

And I didn’t enjoy my children.

I did think about it, and I knew I should be enjoying them instead of just working, working, working, but I told myself that if I got a lot done yesterday then I could enjoy them better today.

And not to entirely justify yesterday, but I did enjoy them today.

I read books to the big boys while the baby was sleeping.

I played with the baby when he was awake.

I made a game plan for the boys’ naughtiness.

I repotted a plant while everyone was otherwise occupied. I even got some dusting done.

Emmett still napped in fits and spurts like he’s been doing lately, and there certainly weren’t any two-and-a-half-hour naps (not even any hour-long ones), but he was so happy and contented when he was awake that it was basically impossible to not enjoy him.

Alec and Sebastian spent a lot of time outside, and even when they were inside, they were better boys overall. I tried to take the time to really see them and enjoy them, and you know, they really are just the sweetest, cutest little boys.

Little people have needs and wants and feelings and emotions, and they want to be heard and seen as much as I do. And they want their mother, more than anyone else, to hear and see them.

I have to keep reminding myself of that.

Three is so cute . . . but so hard.

Three is so hard . . . but so cute.

I love my three.