They started to trickle in as I was paying business bills. First Sebastian, legs speckled with mud, shorts wet, grubby little hands showing me “a big ouchie” he got on his wrist.

They weren’t supposed to be playing with the hose before naptime. I’d seen them out the window though, so I wasn’t surprised. Emmett was taking an early nap (getting up before 5:45am for days on end will do that to a baby), and I wanted to get a few things done, so I figured why not let them play.

It did make things harder on the other end though. I finished writing the check I was working on while Sebastian gingerly took off his flipflops, taking care to baby his hurt wrist. I helped him out of the rest of his soggy clothes and hauled him to the bathtub.

I wanted to hurry. I knew Emmett could wake up. I knew Alec could decide to come in as well. I knew how many more bills I had to pay, and all the fun things I was hoping to get done after that while Emmett was still sleeping. Some photo projects. A memorabilia project. Some laundry-folding with a movie I’d rented and needed to finish.

But instead, I slowed. I felt how slow my movements were, and I pushed back the hurry in my brain, and I enjoyed being with my middle boy as I washed him off and got something for his owie.

These moments are passing too quickly. I cannot grasp them in my hands.

But oh, how I want to. ...continue reading →